Posts Tagged ‘sucks’
December 17th, 2009 | 
Author: Years ago, back before White Wolf released the Vampire the Masquerade to legions of Proto-Emos and Anne Rice wrung every homoerotic fantasy out of her twisted little brain, vampires were monsters. They were The Bad Things to Avoid and were clearly a thing you did not want to become. They were demonic metaphors for Satan… a liar who bewitches to spread his own damnation. And his minions ate bugs! How grody is that?
Ah… the good old days.
"I want my two dollars!"
The days when creepy dead kids would float outside your window, whispering to you to open it and invite them in.
Back then, you were pretty damn sure that seriously f*cked up sh*t would go down if you opened that window. Hell, I had nightmares about that evil kid, and every scratch sound from my window kept me up at night. In those day vamps were things to be terrified of. They would murder you… and becoming one meant the REAL you… your mind and soul… would be destroyed and replaced by an evil spirit that would likely kill everyone you loved. Your mom, your wife… your kids.(even babies)
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I know what you are thinking…
“Gan, why the hell did you see this tween-pron flick?”
I’m asking myself the same thing. I had downloaded it for my babysitter, who has nothing but the hard crush on “Edward! (*Sigh*)”. So, weeks later it is still on my harddrive looking oh so delete-worthy. But, never wanting to throw out junkfood without a little taste, I decided to keep it until a particularly entertainment free night.
That night came… and I cannot believe I actually watched the entire thing.
