Abject Geekery

Hold on to your butts, readers… Our very own Bob Omellette has managed to send in a report! And here I thought he had forgotten about us at The Geekery.

Dear Gan,

I’ve been assured that this package will reach you by Captain Katang, who returns by way of sinister ports between Indonesia and Panama, toward your sultry State of Florida. So long have I been away, the idea of the place seems as if crafted in a child’s fairy tale.

My time in West Africa was productive. Much is to be said about that, but for now… know that General *redacted* will trouble you no more. Certain sympathetic parties have assured me that the shipments of “hand lotion” will delivered on schedule. I still do not know the details, but this has been what has kept me alive these years in your service.

I am currently spending time in Bangkok with my young “ward”, Aldo. He is an affable fellow, who gave no complaint when I had to sell one of his kidneys to resolve a personal matter in Singapore. I’ve been working on a review of Season 3 of Heroes for the Geekery, but our other work has been interfering with the accomplishment of that lofty goal.

I am diseased, I fear.

Sometimes the fever burns so great as to wake Aldo from his sleep in my room, huddled meekly with the filthy blanket I give him for comfort. He worries about me. My sweat smells of decay. I rot inside. I should probably pay some back-alley wretch to give me pills. I don’t care what kind.

If this message reaches you, know that I will write more if I live… and if not… tell my family I died for something noble.

You lie better than I.

Yours in abject supplication,
Bob Omellette

P.S.: Tell npawn I have always loved him.

Good to hear from Bob! Keep up the great work!