Clarence Thomas Hearings
Sen. Joseph Biden…..Kevin Nealon
Anita Hill…..Ellen Cleghorne
Judge Clarence Thomas…..Tim Meadows
Sen. Edward Kennedy…..Phil Hartman
Sen. Howell Heflin…..Chris Farley
Sen. Strom Thurmond…..Dana Carvey
Sen. Paul Simon…..Al Franken
Long Dong Silver…..Chris Rock
[ open on interior, Capitol Hill, night ]
Sen. Joseph Biden: [ banging gavel ] Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please! Please! Professor Hill, I want to thank you for your.. patience here today. You’ve shown remarkable courage throughout your testimony. It couldn’t have been easy for you – or any of us – to sit here for the last seven hours and talk about penis size, or large-breasted women having sex with animals, or pubic hairs on soft drink cans, or oral sex, or the black man’s sexual prowess, or large-breasted women having sex with animals. But we appreciate your candor. [ rest of committee shake their heads and smile ] And we, uh.. hope we can reschedule you for another session tomorrow.
Anita Hill: Thank you, Senator. [ stands up to leave, bumps into next witness, Judge Clarence Thomas, and quickly walks away from him ]
Sen. Joseph Biden: The committee, at this time, would like to call Judge Clarence Thomas. Judge Thomas? [ Judge Clarence Thomas sits ] Judge Thomas, we’re sorry to have to bring you back, but, as you know, some pretty serious allegations have been made by our previous witness.
Judge Clarence Thomas: First of all, I want to say that these proceedings are a travesty!
Sen. Joseph Biden: Mmm-hmm. Well, I understand that. But you did ask Ms. Hill out on a date?
Judge Clarence Thomas: Uh.. yes, I did.
[ the committee whisper amongst themselves at the revealing testimony ]